


Parent Trap

by Chrystie, kate882



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Capes, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 09:43:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16239059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrystie/pseuds/Chrystie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate882/pseuds/kate882
Summary: “Tim,” Dick was a little breathless, “Who was that?”Tim gave him a weird look. “Jason? Why were you staring at him?”And Dick felt an unreasonable stab of betrayal thatthatwas Jason, Steph’s older brother that he’d heard countless stories about, yet never once was introduced to or told that he was walking hotness.





	Parent Trap

Dick opened the door to find probably one of the hottest guys he’d seen in a while standing there, hair disheveled holding a motorcycle helmet and wearing a leather jacket. He may have been staring, which was a bit embarrassing, before Steph peered around the corner. “Oh hey, you’re late,” she greeted. 

“It’s not my fault someone wrecked their car and took up two lanes of traffic with it,” the man answered, and damn it his voice was hot too.

“You drive a bike, you should be able to get around that,” she argued as she and Tim emerged from Tim’s room.

“It was a two lane road. I think the cops would have been a little upset if I did that,” he said rolling his eyes as he spoke.

“Whatever. Bye Dick, bye Tim.” Steph gave them a bright smile and waved before disappearing with the man, who offered a wave over his shoulder to them before Stephanie closed the door behind her.

“Tim,” Dick was a little breathless, “Who was that?”

Tim gave him a weird look. “Jason? Why were you staring at him?”

And Dick felt an unreasonable stab of betrayal that  _ that _ was Jason, Steph’s older brother that he’d heard countless stories about, yet never once was introduced to or told that he was walking hotness. “Why wouldn’t I stare?”

“Because it’s weird. You didn’t even like say hi or anything,” Tim said as he typed away on his phone. “Have you guys really never met? It seems like you should have run into each other at some point by now.”

“I think I would’ve remembered meeting him, I definitely have not.”

“Well, you finally met and you made it weird. Congrats,” Tim said unhelpfully.

“Cut me some slack, I wasn’t ready for probably the hottest man I’ve ever seen to come by tonight.” Dick thought it was at least noteworthy that all he did was stare instead of something potentially much more embarrassing.

Tim glanced up at that. “Well, maybe you’ll get another chance to make a better impression. At least you look presentable today since you had work.”

“Hopefully next time I’ll even be able to form sentences.”

“It’s just Jason,” Tim muttered, heading to the kitchen to find something to eat.

“Spoken like someone who forgot to tell me that their best friend’s adoptive brother was very very hot,” Dick said accusingly.

“Foster brother,” Tim corrected mildly. “They never got adopted. I didn’t think it was important that you know he was hot. Pretty sure you were dating Kori when I met Steph in high school. It would have been weird to mention that to you.” Tim turned to look at him again as he started putting together a sandwich. “Oh, but he does know Kori. They’re friends.”

“That’s the same Jason?” How was it that he’d never met Jason before when he was surrounded by people who apparently knew him? He still kept in contact with Kori, not as often as he’d like but still, and she’d definitely mentioned knowing a Jason, but Dick hadn’t thought it would be the same one.

“Yeah,” Tim shrugged, “Should I make you a sandwich too?”

“Yes please. Dinner is the perfect opportunity to ask you everything you know about the potential man of my dreams.”

“Oh my god, you’re such a loser. I’ve told you about Jason before.”

“But now I need to know moreee. Please Timmy?”

“What do you even want to know?”

Well clearly he needed the most important question answered. “Is he into guys?”

“He’s got a small pride flag in his pen cup that Steph gave him after he drove us to pride a few years ago, and he’s had a few flings with dudes, so I’m going to go with yes.”

Which meant Dick had a chance. This was going to end up being a long interrogation with Tim.

* * *

“Hey,” Tim greeted Steph as she fell into step beside him, “is Jason single?”

“Careful, Conner might get jealous~” She answered with a smirk. “Still waiting on you to make a move on that by the way. I’ve got twenty bucks riding on you manning up in the next two months.”

“Just for that I might just wait until three,” Tim muttered to himself, “seriously though, is he?”

Steph shrugged. “Well just for costing me twenty bucks I might not tell you.”

“Well maybe you won’t be out twenty bucks if you tell me.”

“Why do you need to know?”

“Thinking of setting him up with Dick,” Tim shrugged like it was no big deal.

That definitely got her attention. “Dick likes Jason?”

“He only spent all night asking me about all the details I know about him.” It has been a long night.

“He’s not seeing anyone right now. Hasn’t even been sleeping with anyone recently. Or at least I haven’t been sexiled to your place recently, so I assume he’s not sleeping with anyone.”

“Great. Want to set them up?” He was pretty sure he didn’t even have to ask knowing Steph.

“Well duh, you should have led with that. He thinks Dick is weird though, the whole staring thing, so we gotta get past that first. And he’s not a huge fan of cops. So uh that too.”

“Dick said he was too distracted by his ‘hotness’ to make words.” Well he didn’t exactly say that but that was pretty much what he meant.

“Break Dick’s car a little? And then tell him that Jay can fix it?” Steph suggested.

That sounded like probably not the best idea. “I don’t think vandalism is going to go over well with the cop. Maybe just cliche locking them in a room.”

“We’d have to get them into a room, and Jason could pick the lock,” Steph said flatly. “I could have an emergency at your place? It would get Jason to come over again. Like …. Oh! That project we’re doing. I’ll just leave something at home that’s ‘crucial’ for our grade that we need that day. If we do it right before we order takeout we can probably get him to stay too.”

“They might notice if we accidentally order enough for four, but hopefully by then they’ll be so busy with each other’s tongues down their throats that they won’t care.”

“Um, when me and Dick are involved in the ordering it’s always enough for at least five, don’t play stupid here,” Stephanie reprimanded. “Besides, they’re not gonna be making out this meeting. We’ll be right there. We gotta get them past the awkward ‘I don’t know you so I don’t know how to talk to you’ stage first or they may never recover from it. We must first guide them, because they are clueless. We can lead them to common interests.”

“You make them sound like their hopeless kids,” actually no Steph was right, just from how Dick was acting last night he definitely didn’t feel like the older one.

“Because they are. When’s the last time Jason had a relationship that lasted longer than two months? And Dick froze first meeting. We’ve gotta do this parent trap right or it won’t work, and we can’t leave it in their hands, they’ll screw it up.”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt if we meddled only the first few times.”

“I knew you’d see it my way. Oh, there’s Conner! Wanna go make me twenty dollars?” She smiled and waved at Conner as he seemed to notice them and jogged over.

“Hey guys, I was about to grab lunch, wanna join?”

“Sure, Steph’s paying,” Tim agreed with a smirk.

“Oh actually, I just got this really important emergency,” she said, fake pouting at him. “Jason needs me to come home right now. I guess you guys will just have to eat lunch together without me.”

“You’re the worst,” Tim sighed before turning to Conner as Steph ran off. “So, lunch?”

“Yeah sounds great,” Conner grinned at him.

* * *

“Dick, Jason’s coming by to bring me my laptop, can you please not be weird when he gets here?” Steph asked him almost as soon as Dick walked in the door from where she and Tim had a bunch of books and papers spread out around them on the living room floor.

“I wasn’t prepared!” Dick felt like he’d been saying that for a few days now in defense of his less than great social skills that day.

“Which is why I’m telling you now so that you can be prepared,” she informed him.

“Oh hey, can we get Chinese food tonight?” Tim threw in.

“You know my answer’s always gonna be yes.”

“Should we get some for Jason too?” Tim asked, and Dick couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something was definitely up. He glanced at Steph, but she was much harder to read than Tim when the two of them were up to something.  “It feels like it’d be rude to have him come over while we’re eating and not invite him,” Tim added, definitely noticing Dick watching them.

“I mean yeah, sure but me and Steph usually order enough for three more people anyway.” Dick had a habit of overestimating how hungry he was, and added with Steph they were just terrible for each other’s wallets.

About half an hour later the food arrived and almost as soon as they’d closed to door after the delivery guy there was a knock on it again, which Steph answered.

“Oh my god you’re a lifesaver. I’ve got like ten-”

“Book marked articles you guys absolutely need, I know, you told me at least ten times in your thirty text messages,” Jason finished for her, handing over her laptop bag. “Since when do you exit the apartment without this thing anyway?”

“I was in a rush,” she muttered defensively, taking the bag from him.

“Well since you’re here now, feel like joining us for dinner,” Dick helpfully pitched in. It was a whole sentence and everything, he was proud of himself.

Jason glanced between all of them, eyes lingering on Stephanie, so maybe Dick wasn’t alone in suspecting something was up. “Sure, if you guys don’t mind,” he decided on, offering a hand out to Dick. “I’m Jason. It’s good to meet you.”

“Dick,” he said in response, taking his hand, “I promise I won’t creepily stare at you again.”

“It’s really fine, dude. Don’t even worry about it,” Jason waved him off. He looked over to the mess that Steph and Tim had made of the floor. “What are you two even trying to do here?”

“Our biology midterm project,” Tim answered while Steph put her laptop down amongst the mess.

“They always get like this. I usually just avoid this room until they’re done”

“I know the feeling. It’s usually contained to Steph’s room when they do it at our place though,” Jason told him.

“Because you take over the living room!” Stephanie accused.

“You have to tell me your ways.” Dick had no idea how to contain the two when they work together. They just claimed a space and it grows from there.

“Make a bigger mess that they don’t want to infiltrate with theirs. Or basically have a bunch of papers to grade at the same time as a novel deadline,” Jason told him.

“No when those two tasks meld together we stay away because your stress makes our stress worse,” Tim corrected.

“I’m better about cleaning it all up though,” Jason looked pointedly at Steph who just shrugged.

“Well even if they’re hard working messy kids, they still have to eat. C’mon.” Dick ushered everyone out of the living room, his preferred eating location, to the kitchen where Tim had begged him into getting a dining table. “Hope you like Chinese Jason, but something tells me you do.” Like the completely innocent face Steph was trying to pull off at the moment, which Jason was definitely noticing too.

“Yeah it’s great,” he agreed, moving to take a seat, but Steph and Tim beat him to it, leaving two chairs open for Dick and Jason to sit next to each other.

Dick arched a brow at them, but then Jason was pulling off his jacket to eat and wow were those arms distracting. He supposed he could let their scheming go on for just a little bit longer.

“Hey Jason, can you drive me here tomorrow to work on the project?” Stephanie asked.

“You already know that I can’t. I’ve got that charity car wash thing the school is making the teachers help with.”

“Making the hot teachers help with you mean,” Steph corrected.

“Unofficially,” he muttered.

“Oh, Dick you should go. Your car is a mess,” Tim threw in.

“That’s not a style choice for your car?” Steph gasped with mock surprise.

“It’s not  _ that  _ bad,” Dick weakly tried to defend, “I just don’t have the time to wash it often.”

“Or ever,” Tim grinned at him.

“Five bucks for the school to buy better textbooks and we’ll wash it for you,” Jason told him with a shrug.

Dick wanted to give Jason a  _ look _ for playing into the kids’ hands, but he decided it wouldn’t hurt to pay a visit, especially if Jason was most likely going to get soaking wet in a tank top. And it was a good cause. “I guess I could find some time to stop by.”

The smile Jason gave him made it totally worth it that they were one hundred percent being manipulated here. “Sweet. I guess I’ll see you there.”

“Yeah, I guess you will.” Dick was not blushing from just a smile. He was a grown man who’d been in many relationships; he did not blush just because the definition of handsome smiled at him.

“And Tim,” Jason turned to Tim with a wicked grin on his face that had Tim paling a bit. “Maybe you can invite Conner and make a date out of it,” he said, ignoring Tim’s frantic glances towards Dick.

“I haven’t heard about Conner in a while. You guys aren’t still dancing around wanting to date each other are you?” Dick jumped onto the opportunity to tease Tim as quickly as possible. Of course Tim never told him anything about how he felt about Conner, but it was pretty obvious from the moment Tim had introduced them.

Tim blushed a bit and glared at him. “Sounds like there’s a reason you haven’t heard about Conner in a while,” Jason commented.

“I think he’s adorable when he’s embarrassed.”

“You’re all pathetic,” Steph said, sipping her soda.

“How’s it going with Cass?” Jason said casually, laughing when she choked a little.

“I’ll have you know it’s going very well actually,” Stephanie said, holding her chin up. “In fact, I refuse to sit here and be made fun of unlike some of you.” She pulled her phone out and typed out a quick message while looking at all of them dramatically. Her purple nails tapping away at the table were the only tell that she was nervous. And then her phone buzzed and she waved it victoriously in Jason’s face. “I have a date with her this weekend, so suck it, Todd,” she gloated, her entire face lit up.

“Holy shit, you just asked her out?” Tim stared at her wide eyed and she nodded with a big smile.

Dick let out an impressed whistle. “I guess we know who has the most guts here.”

“I could have told you that before pulling this stunt,” she said, still beaming, “but also I’ve been trying to seduce her for like two months. I was pretty sure she’d say yes.”

“So what you’re really saying, is that it takes two months of seduction before I can be confident enough to ask someone out,” Dick mused with a smirk threatening to break over his lips and a quick side glance towards Jason. “Good to know.”

“It takes two months of seduction if you’re trying to ask out someone like Cass, who is a goddess amongst humans. The first two weeks of that was just trying to start up regular conversation.”

“And what’s your recommendation for someone not like Cass, oh smart one?”

“Well that depends entirely on who it is. If you were going for someone like Jason for instance,” her smile was just a touch too sweet, “you’d get along with me and his friends, find something to converse about, and be hot, but that’s not one I’m sure you ever have to worry about.”

“Yes,” Dick nodded sagely, “All good suggestions for wooing someone like Jason. Your very attractive brother was just the first person you could think of, right?”

“Well he is right here, and I know him pretty well,” she pointed out.

“Very attractive, huh?” Jason raised an eyebrow at him.

“Very attractive,” Dick nodded, smiling at him.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Jason told him, offering a small smile back.

Probably not as subtle as they thought they were being, both Dick and Jason saw Tim and Steph exchange smiles and a quick fist bump just slightly under the table.

* * *

Dick did end up going to the car wash, and it was worse than he thought. Jason wasn’t even bothering with a shirt, which given how hot it was outside made sense, and he wasn’t the only one but still, and his torso was just as muscular as his arms. “Oh hey, you made it,” he called, waving when he spotted Dick. “Wow, that car really is a mess.”

Words, he knew words. “Uh y-yeah, I mean I found some time to stop by. Good to give back to your community and all that.”

Jason smirked, clearly noticing Dick stumbling over his words, despite his effort to recover from that. “Great, just drop your five dollars with the kids over there and we’ll get to work on your car.”

“Right- uh- I’ll just… do that.” Dick knew Jason was noticing so he was trying really hard not to stare, but he was doing a really bad job.And it just got worse when Jason started actually washing the car because he was dripping water and bending over and honestly Dick wasn’t sure how any of these hormonal teens got through Jason’s class because Dick was well past puberty and he was having trouble right now.

“Alright, it’s all done,” Jason told him far too soon, jogging over and smiling at him. “At least you got a clean car out of Timmers’ and Steph’s parent trap thing.”

“That definitely is what they’re doing, isn’t it?” Dick bit his lip, trying very hard to keep his eyes on Jason’s face, “Would it be working for you at all by any chance?”

“I wouldn’t have told you to come here if it wasn’t,” Jason answered, placing a hand on his hip.

“Soooo I can expect to see you again pretty often? Sayyyy Saturday?”

“Saturday works for me. I’ll pick you up around seven?”

“Sounds like we’ve got a date,” Dick grinned. “But let’s maybe not tell them right away.”

“Can’t have them feeling too victorious over it,” Jason agreed, stealing Dick’s phone and putting his number in. “I’ve gotta get back to the cars, but text me and we’ll work something out.”

“Sounds good!”


End file.
